Squid Pants here bringing you another write up of a TCLEWSI entry.  TCLEWSI, the contest so uncorrupt that even though the guy running it was also a judge and a participant he still couldn’t break the top 3!  

I’ll be finishing up this particular series as Pancakenap’s new religion states “. . . and curses be upon the blog, be it personal or professional, that has not entries written by a tattooed man obsessed with tentacles!  For those without shall suffer the curses of the itchy inner ear in a land without cotton swabs!” – Book of Bubba 4:20.  There’s also a bunch of rules about what goes on pizza and what doesn’t but what do I know, better safe and follow the rules than sorry and just not being able to do anything about that itching feeling, forever!  There you go, a Pascal’s Wager joke, and a terrible one at that!  That’s the hack writing you can expect from me.

Speaking of things that just can’t be taken seriously, we are checking out an OG Kush autoflower from Dinafem.  The grower will forgive my levity as they will tell you everything went wrong with this grow.  He also gifted me some other weed he grew so if no one else, at least I would know he could grow decent cannabis (and the other gifted cannabis wasn’t bad, so in a way you now know too).  So why submit a known terrible grow?  He just thought it would be great fun to participate and by securing last place no one else’s ego was really on the line. 

As an aside, this exact same line grown by a different grower was the first time I knowingly smoked some autoflower that was in fact fantastic so do actually consider these genetics if you are considering an autoflower grow.  Add that example to the winner of this contest and that’s two autos I have knowingly consumed and liked.  Again, this entry is not in that class.

Let’s just rip this bandage off quick, the meanest comment on this was “literally ditch weed.” and I was the one who said it.  I knew what the entry was the second I saw it and still couldn’t believe it wasn’t ditch weed.  I also know he can do much better and gifted him some photoperiod cuttings in the spring so his entry in TCLEWSI 2 (coming this fall!) should be quite respectable.  The grow took place on a downtown Toronto balcony, utilizing a living soil and mostly organic methods but some salt nutrients.  For those who put extra value in organic practices, I can only say they didn’t help here.

Enough of my third rate comedy, let’s check out some of the stats.

Review Protocol

For these reviews, I’ll be providing my own comments side by side with pancakenap’s. We’ll show our respective rating for each entry, and how far it was from the contest average decided by all the judges.

Qualitative data for each entry is also shown summarized:

  • Combustion Rating – How well it burned on a 5 point scale
  • Potency Rating – How strong you thought it was on a 7 point scale
  • Longevity Rating – How long the effects lasted on a 7 point scale
  • Anxiety Rating – Amount of anxiety felt, 7 being the highest
  • Stimulation Rating – Sedative to stimulant on a 7 point scale

Notes on the grow from the grower

OG Kush Auto

All ordinal orderings need a lowest ranked element, and this is it.  This is it emphatically as it stood alone, far from the otherwise tightly placed pack at only ~50% of the contest average score.  Even so, only nine of the twelve judges ranked it last.  This is most likely explained by the fact some other outdoor entries had some serious issues in some of the samples.

Comments weren’t all bad and people looked for good things to say.  Even the most positive did have to acknowledge there were issues, eg. “I was pleasantly surprised by the floral and perfume-like flavour. Looks bleh though”.  I used a Pax 2 for my judging, and a characteristic of that particular device is the first two draws deliver about 90% of the flavour in my experience.  I got a good hint of what the taste would have been on my first puff, and it wasn’t a bad taste at all.  Just so faint and fleeting, like making eye contact with someone, knowing a spark just passed but neither being able to build up the courage to approach the other, in the end parting in silence to never cross paths again.

Guesses were, shall we say. . .realistic.  One guessed Big Bud, which was probably the most generous guess.  Most were a bit less complimentary; Hemp, Hippy Hay and the aforementioned “literally ditch weed”.

There was a special trophy made for the last place entry and before the contest started it was decided that last place gets a gram of the first place entry so they can see what real weed is like.  I can’t remember exactly who suggested that, just that it wasn’t me and it got laughs all around so we went with it.  The grower declared he’s never been so happy to lose a contest in his life.  He’s a far happier person than I am so there’s a lesson there about finding delight in whatever your circumstances are.  Not a bad way to round up this discussion.

  • OG Kush Auto by Dinafem
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