We’ve got a gram of Subway Scientist in a Volcano, let’s talk about it.

I over-romanticize cannabis genetics, and I’m going to continue doing so. Value aside, preferred or hated, box branded or ziplock craft, I hope to do justice to each variety I see, with respect to the people that created it and grew it.

I purchased about $100 worth of single grams and pre-rolls from the Alberta Store, making my way through them now and writing reviews. My largest purchase was a 2 gram pre-roll pack of Subway Scientist by Riff or Grand Daddy Purp by Aphria. To fully review this purchase, let’s first talk about the Royal Indica, multi-cup winner, Grand Daddy Purple.

One of the Riff pre-roll containers

GrandDaddy Purple is Ken Estes’ baby, he bred it over decades and evolved a breeding house under its name. Let’s be clear here, I am making the assumption that Aphria’s Grand Daddy Purp, is the GrandDaddy Purple– I don’t feel like I’m out on a limb, there are several different spellings and conjunctions I’ve seen used. Anyways, GrandDaddy Purple is famous, really. Why, you say? I’d bet on two reasons: bag appeal and cash cropping, that’s probably in increasing order of magnitude.

I cannot find a clear genetic lineage here but the legendary US variety, Mendo Purp, is definitely involved. Leafly lists the other counterpart as a Big Bud (the US variety that gave way to the Critical lineage) while Seedfinder lists the parent as a Skunk, Afghani cross but doesn’t name the Big Bud. In both cases, I believe the GDP you can buy now is the backcrossed version.

Riff box

And like I said, it is famous. Not just in the US, all over. Let’s be honest, it sells itself, it hits both producers and consumers at the same time. Do your research, this is known both as a cash crop variety, and an incredible indica variety. From the reading I did on it, not only does it produce volume, it produces density. And, horse and carriage, people seem to love its taste and colour.

So let’s move into Aphria’s version, I busted out the pre-rolls and put the contents in a Volcano, we’ll talk about why later. Forward notes in the profile are sweet berries that stop well before dankness, which allows the spice and earth to follow through, there is definitely some Afghani here. It interprets on the top end but the sweet berries are soothing, I can see why this casts a wide net, satisfying indica lovers and converting sativa lovers.  It’s another variety I would recommend to my Grandma.

Riff box and two pre-rolls

I didn’t find my pre-rolls burned well. I opened the container on day 1 and tried to smoke it later that night, without success. I ended up throwing it out. Left the container open and tried the next one 36 hours later. I also rolled some Bubba Kush that I’ve kept in a mason jar for over 40 days. This was homegrown cannabis, deep water culture hydroponic using decanted aquaponic water, 3 day flush with tap water <125ppm, changed daily until the ppm remained below 125ppm. Ten day dry, stepping down from 55-45% is my usual.

The products didn’t work for me, big deal Lucille, it happens. I’ll still comment on it, hopefully providing something usable to all concerned. The pre-rolls come packaged 2x 0.5g pre-rolls. Plastic shrink wrap seals the top and they were virtually scentless. They’re side squeeze models which pops the top. The pre-rolls have about an inch filter on them and are rolled with unbleached papers.

My homegrown cannabis (left) and Subway Scientist Pre-Roll (right)

They give you the potential mg on the bottle, this is the first time in my life I knew the approx medicinal content of a pre-roll. Maybe I knew before, but I had to do the math myself.

They burned really hot and black, drowning out any taste, a struggle to light and keep lit. After a few pulls the cylinder structure had compacted in on itself, shrinking it in size.

When I dismantled the pre-rolls, the cannabis inside was near powdered consistency and dry. Which leaves me wondering, was it rolled too tight? I have none left so I cannot re-roll it, but I suppose someone should. Seemed dry enough to me, was probably too dry for the vaporizer honestly. I can’t be sure and I don’t really want to speculate, all I can tell you is the product didn’t work for me the way it was designed. That’s probably where I’ll stop, I haven’t really looked to see if other people had this problem, I didn’t contact the seller or the producer about it. This purchase has made me more likely not to buy a pre-roll in the future, I’d still probably consider something from Aphria, if they had something enticing. 

I bought some doob tubes online. They seal totally, without any smell whatsoever. However, I stopped using them after a while because I found that anything I put in there started to taste bad and burned a bit rough. I’ve gravitated to the tubes I bought from Tantalus Labs, which are not scent proof (they maybe even amplify the scent of cannabis in your pocket) but are highly functional.

Various doob tubes

Alright, we talked about the greatness of GrandDaddy Purple, we reviewed the flavour profile of Aphria’s version, I found the pre-rolls didn’t work out and I used the vaporizer as a contingency. We muddled around about the pre-rolls, decided we’d leave it to someone else to figure out the issue and reacted by reconsidering pre-roll purchases for a while. I trailed off about some (likely irrelevant) doob tube information and now we’re here, at this abrupt end. Thanks for reading.

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